I played the trumpet in school.

oct 30 2023

(Brought to you by the 3am thought that I should learn to play La Vie En Rose on the trumpet. But I don't own one and I'm not about to start. Besides the fact that I would be unwilling to practice where anyone can hear me. And the trumpet is not a quiet instrument.)

I picked the trumpet because, well, flute and clarinet were out (too girly), which in my third grade band left alto sax and trumpet. I chose trumpet over sax because it only had three keys. I didn't want to join band (don't remember exactly why I was opposed). I was, I'd say, strongly encouraged (my siblings were also both in band (sax and flute)), but I'm pretty sure I could have opted out. I dunno that I ever even voiced my opposition to it at all. My mother thought it was a good idea and I just, accepted that it was happening, I guess. So I picked what seemed to me at the time the easiest way to half-ass it, the trumpet.

Anyway mom was right band was the best part of school by far. (Maybe not so much in 3rd and 4th grade? I don't think I liked the teacher very much. But middle school on for sure.) If I had an identity in school it was most certainly Band Geek. My friend group was Band. My brand of autism was Refuses To Not Wear The Too Big Band Jacket All Day (my mother, (rightly, they were expensive) got us band jackets in 5th grade and expected them to last through 8th. I don't think I've loved an article of clothing this much since. (I also didn't actually grow into it. Notoriously short, my genetics)). Band was the Only reason I attended high school as much as I did (which was not very much).

But I wasn't ever, like, passionate about music. I have some natural talent in playing the trumpet (in the scheme of a middle school band, which is to say, not that much, actually), which is good because I never really commited to, like, improving myself? We were assigned the homework of practice X hours a week or whatever and I'm not sure I ever turned that in without lying. (I think this makes my sibling angry. They're valid.)

It just seems weird to me to say that band was such a huge part of my teen life but like? Music? Take it or leave it. (Like yeah, of course I love music, it came free with my xbox humanity. But I have no interest or skill in creating or participating in it.) And the idea of ever having to be on stage? Hate hate hate. I didn't even like playing in front of the rest of the band.

And in high school I was even also in the jazz band (the slightly smaller, entirely optional subsection of band that signed up for more practices and longer stage time. The musical choices were different but the structure was not). What's up with that.

Anyway, highlights of band, in my experience:

The Tree Lighting, which was a thing that my town did every year. A large tree was decorated in the park and the band would play Christmas songs (and, you know, one Hanukkah song) while they turned on the lights. Is there a better way to celebrate Christmas than to sit in the freezing cold holding metal to your lips? I legitimately do not think so. We got to eat subs in the fire station after.

Band Candyyyyy. I yearn for it. "Let's give a tween a box of assorted candy to sell as a fundraiser. Kids love to buy that shit it's only a dollar." Guess who gets a dollar a day to buy school lunch and is responsible for that box? This guy! Eventually band candy was upgraded from assorted snacks in an obnoxiously large cardboard briefcase to much more managable chocolate bars. That did not improve my ability to afford lunch.

Band jacket I'm so serious I just want her back. It was the perfect jacket. I'm a hoodie guy now. In high school I discovered hoodies. This was good for me and is more socially acceptable. (I had a math teacher in 8th grade who would throw a fit every time I wore the jacket to her class. Which I did everyday. Not a single other person ever objected. And I'm serious if I was out of the house from the ages of 10 to 14 I was wearing that jacket.) It was a windbreaker, I guess? And it had a soft but not fluffy gray lining and an appropriately sized hood and generous pockets which I used to hold soo much shit and which became even more generous when I wore through the lining and would always have to fish my shit out of the inside of the jacket when it slid around to the back. I loved it so much. By the time I got to high school the school was ordering from a shittier company and ordering a new one would've only been disappointing.

In middle school, band kids got out of PE about 50% of the time because in addition to after school we had practice in the weird time slot that throughout the year rotated between PE, health, home ec, etc. It also meant we missed out on about 50% of our time in health, home ec, etc. but I'm not complaining. We were all together for those classes to account for our weird schedule, so they could speed run sex ed for us instead of missing half of it, which is fun.

Competition. Again hate to be on stage but the whole band takes a bus to hang out in a theme park all day (and also to play the music we've been practicing all year, sure sure)? Lovely. We did pretty okay, as I recall. We took home a few trophies but nothing too impressive I think. In high school the band was much smaller than middle and I think a couple times we had to rope friends of the band into "playing" at competition so we qualified.

Football games, honestly. I don't give a shit about sports or school spirit but they were fun to play at, if occasionally tedious. Low stakes, at the very least. (We were not a marching band, for the record. (We did march in a few parades. That universally sucked.)) We sat in the bleachers and played Notre Dame and Darth Vader's Theme(?) and Louie Louie (my beloved) and just fucked around for most of the game.